2013's Accomplish List

At the start of the new year, I decided I was going to take this year to change my body. Well now I think, I need to blog at least the weeks. Recording my thoughts and process is what's best or I will have no idea what is going on.
So I have created a list of things I will accomplish this year.
1. Finish my novel. I've been writing it for over five years. It needs to be finished and then I can work on getting published. December 31st, 2013 is my deadline. If it's not finished, then the project is over. I can't keep doing this to myself.
2. Lose 23 pounds. That's it? That's your goal? Yes. I want that scale to say 199 lbs, and I will be happy.
3. Become a cyclist. I always seemed to like cycle class, so why not become good at it? I discovered a new thing at the gym yesterday. It's a program that the bikes are set up with where you ride on all these different courses from beginner, moderate, to challenges. They are set up with the internet and I've already registered so I can track my progress.
4. Run a 5k. It's not like I'm trying to do a marathon. This is another thing that will let me know, I can do it. Right now, my body doesn't want to train and it's rather upsetting but I can only do what my body allows. I refuse to hurt myself in the process.
5. Know the basics of pole dancing. I am thankful that I have some amazing women in the pole community to help me. If I can invert by the end of the year, hell yeah. If not, I"m not gonna be disappointed. The thing about being a plus size dancer is that it may take it a little longer for us to get things. We are bigger and we have more to hold up, but we are insanely strong for it, body and mind.
6. Become versed in yoga. I love yoga. I know I'm lazy for it but I love it. My plans are to become very knowledgeable of it. I'm trying to find a book right now so I can learn everything about it. I think it will be helpful to me.

It's a small list and it's doable. It's week 3 and this week has been a lazy one. For a few days I kind of lost my way. One day I traded the gym for cake and another day I just didn't want to go to the gym. These are mistakes that happen and I will accept them, then learn from there. I'm still learning to eat better and workout properly.

I will accomplish my goals, and stand proud.

I know I'm a quitter. Don't worry, I'm seeking treatment.

I have to admit, I'd pretty much given up on this blog. In the past couple of months, I've pretty much given up on a lot. I can blame it on finals or work or whatever, I just gave up. I'm a person that never completely finishes something and is a quitter. It's one of the worst feelings in the world.
I've been writing a novel for the past five years that I can't seem to finish. I've had my pole for over a year, I've barely gone past I was last year. Started the gym again last month, not a single pound lost. All these things just add to the list of non-accomplished.
I knew these things wouldn't be easy but I can't even put my own happiness first. The old line still lives, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself." That is true and I know it is, yet I'm too stupid to realize it. I'm that person that will call someone on their bullshit quicker than they can finish the thought but I can't call myself on my own shit.
I give myself slack on my gym membership going to waste at the moment since I'm getting over the flu but what about all the other days I'm not sick?
60 minutes a day is amazing on a Treadmil. 30 minutes is great strength training, and maybe a couple of 60 minute pole sessions during the week would do wonders. There are 168 hours in a week. How is it that I can't spend 5 of those hours on a Treadmil, 2 1/2 a week strength training and 2 hours a week pole dancing?
I'm lazy. I know I am that's how I got 220lbs, well being lazy and over eating, big time. I still continue to and I don't seem to be stopping any time soon.
For awhile I only worried about being in recovery and that was all. As long as I was sober, I was okay. Now I can see that just because I was once an addict doesn't mean I need to only focus on that for the rest of my life. I have another addiction and it's to food. I need to get over this addiction like I did the other one. This is more destructive to me now and it needs to be taken care of. The confidence I had earlier this year is now faded. I don't feel confident most days.
I knew I would and will never been a skinny mini but I couldn't even fallow through with toning what I have. I know part of it is that I have no clue what I"m doing. But still, I'm not taking the extra step to improve myself. Why can't I make myself happy?
Hopefully a new year will solve my current problem. I hope.

My first homemade Lasagna

Last night I made my first lasagna. I was so proud of myself. I have no picture to show because it was barely out of the oven when it was being dug into.

Flat Belly Cookbook has a Tofu Lasagna but just the thought grossed me out. I've had Tofu and it was straight up disgusting. Maybe there are some better than others but I'm not taking that chance anytime soon.
I fallowed most of the directions in the cookbook but I also got hints from a recipe online. Mine contained: ground chuck, Italian cheese and seasoning, mushrooms, red onions, basil, bay leaves, oregano, lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese, and diced tomatoes.
This one didn't have a mufa in it because I forgot to add in the olive oil. My bad.
But I set the oven to 375 and started on the tomato mix. I put the ground chuck into a saucepan, this is where I would have put in the oil.Then put the meat to the side in a drainer to get out any fat. I placed the tomatoes along with basil, oregano, Italian seasoning, bay leaves, red onions, and mushrooms. It cooked for a few minutes then adding in the meat to make it all blend together.
In a glass backing pan, I put it in this order tomato mix, noodles, ricotta, then repeated it again.
In the oven it went for an hour.

It tastes good except I needed more sauce. I used two 14 oz cans of tomatoes but it didn't seem like enough. I think it was because I added in those veggies but that is an old-fashioned why to get kids to eat veggies and a prime time to add them in. I like to put vegetables and fruit into whatever I can so I can my daily servings.
I'm sure this recipe goes over the 400 mark because of the added cheese and meat but I divided up the pan into 9 servings and I had only one so I am proud of myself again. I didn't go back for seconds which my father sure did.

The Journey to find the best water enhancer

We are always being told we need more water. I've been told that we need 8 ounces, then I was told we needed 8 cups. According to the Mayo Clinic, men need 3 liters(13 cups) and women need 2.2 liters(9 cups.) So in this journey of getting enough water I got sick if just drinking straight water.
You can't always stick to it unless you are used to it but it's just so, bland. So when they started coming out with all these flavored waters I got excited. I was grabbing lemon and raspberry flavored Dasani when it first came out. At least I think it was Dasani. Those tasted like crap but oh well. It was water but didn't taste like water.
Then when I got sick of those, I started with Crystal Light. At first they were A-MAZ-ING! Watered tasted like actual fruit punch. I've tried every flavor available. When they would come out with a new one or I'd see one I'd never tried, I'd buy it. Of course they have probably over 20 flavors and I've tried them all a hundred times.
After a couple of years drinking Crystal Light I started working in a vitamin store and then I was told that it has an ingredients that causes cancer. I freaked, through the stuff out. Of course I went looking for information on it and the only thing I've found was information on it containing Aspartame. There was a list of side affects that Aspartame can cause but the list is just too long.
But Aspartame is in just about everything. We really can't escape it.
So next I started drinking Mio. It's a good water enhancer but there are two draw backs.
1.) Not enough flavors. I think at the most there are 10, at least what I have been able to get my hands on.
2.) For what you spend for the bottle, there isn't enough. At my local stores, Mio ranges from $2.50 to over $3. That is crazy to me.
I had a temporary addiction to Mio because of those reasons. If they came out with more flavors, and either gave more in the bottle or made it cheaper, I wont be buying them again.
My current addiction is Ocean Spray On The Go Drink Mixes. There aren't as many flavors as Crystal Light but that's okay for me, for right now. Since I wore myself out on the Crystal Light, I"m sure I'll get sick of Ocean Spray too. But like I said, it's my current addiction.

My version of a Turkey Wrap

One of the recipes in one of the cookbooks calls for a type of wrap with meat in it and I think it's turkey. Not sure.
After awhile you get sick of eating a lot of bread. I made the step years ago to change from white to wheat, even experiments with Honey Wheat, Multi-Grain, Whole Grain, and whatever else kind of wheat bread that's out there. Butter Wheat was okay but I wasn't a huge fan of eating all that butter.
So when the cookbooks came and it started talking about whole wheat tortillas, I was on board. Although one tortilla is 130 calories and Honey Wheat is 120 calories along with Whole Grain being 100 calories, you are eating more calories but it's less bread. Now I save that bread for other things.
In the process of trying to find quick snacks to make since in the Flat Belly Diet you are supposed to eat four times a day with each food intake of 400 calories. But many snacks you have to cook but the quickest I've found was 15 minutes. Sure I could spend only 15 minutes making a meal but I'm lazy. I wanted quick, quick, quick. I am the type of person that pops raviolis in the microwave for a minute and a half and then pig out although I was burning my mouth in the process.
Most reasons why people are bigger and take in those extra calories is because it's there. It's easy and quick. They don't want to stand around cooking. I love to cook but sometimes I just want to grab a cookie, or 12, and eat something. Especially after I walk/run with the dog or pole or do yoga or whatever.
So lets get to the food. Here is my Turkey Wrap that takes at the most two minutes. Don't ask me calorie counts, I fallow what the cookbook tells me to get and I throw it together.
A great example other than the tortillas is the turkey. The meat of the wrap. The books say to get low-sodium turkey. The calorie count might be different and the price sure is but it's healthier for me. I don't like feeding my body to slimy $1 turkey. It's nasty and unhealthy. No, thanks.
Another example is the mayo I use. The books call for canola-oil mayo. I haven't been able to find it yet so I'm using regular mayo. A friend of mine told me the Hellman's makings a canola-oil mayo, so I am on the search for it.
Okay to sum that up, so far in my Turkey Wrap we have whole-wheat tortilla, two pieces of low-sodium turkey, and mayo, preparing canola-oil mayo.
Next I add some basil and oregano along with tarragon. I throw basil and oregano on just about everything, it doesn't hurt to add and it enhances the flavors. Along with that I add a little red-wine vinegar and olive oil.
Then because I can't stand to have bland food, I added two slices of swiss cheese and some spinach. You can already tell I am trying to use up this spinach. I had iceberg but it wasn't looking so pretty.
The mufa in this recipe is olive oil. Instead of using butter since I started this diet, everything that requires butter or I used to use butter with has been replaced with olive oil. I make eggs, olive oil. I eat toast, I put some olive oil on it. Instead of salt to separate my pasta noodles, olive oil. Even in hamburger meat, olive oil.

Turkey Wrap:
Whole-Wheat Tortilla
Low-Sodium Turkey
Mayo
Swiss Cheese
Basil, Oregano, Tarragon
Olive oil, red-wine vinegar
Spinach

I knew this wasn't going to fill me up so I added some cantaloupe and sliced red apples. Be careful with the cantaloupe though, there was a salmonella scare recently.

Taste test: Yummy!

I know I was going to post about cake but since I made it two days ago, I kind of lost interest in it. Who knows what I'll make tomorrow.